Wednesday, 30 January 2008

La date et le temps

I have lived for

7385 days, 16 hours, 37 minutes and 17 seconds
Or 20 years, 2 months, 19 days, 16 hours, 37 minutes, 17 seconds

figures are correct as at the entry time of this post.

always hate the calculation of days between dates. Especially so during primary school time where there was a whole bloody chapter about dates and every single exercise question we need to count the number of days using fingers, toes, calendars.

Was doing BA216 and need to calculate the Central exposed to risk, E(subscript)x(superscript)c,. and luckily we have something called internet now.

was trying to find link to explain what is central exposed to risk and realised that i am currently learning stuff that is cheem-er than, if not as cheem as, those in wikipedia. how great.

Link: Date Duration Calculator

决定了

今天的我 心情起起落落
就像一向来的我一样
只不过今天转得九百八十六弯
有小小失常而已

昨晚不小心太累1030睡着
今早一起身就开电脑 想准备impromtu presentation
却收到友人过世的消息
和她不算熟 印象中很开朗很活泼的女生
却因为中了13张罚单还照开长途巴士的司机疏忽
车祸去世了
21岁 奖学金得主 医学院生
生命是如此脆弱 愿 安息
一句老话 把每一天
当作自己在世上的最后一天
酱活下去 才不会有遗憾

过后去上课
impromtu把大家都吓出了冷汗
班上16人每人准备5个时事问题字条
全部丢进褐色纸带
轮到你时抽出5个字条
到课室外用7分钟准备 选一题
然后进来乱讲3分钟 Q&A 3分钟
听别人做答时 发现自己都可以想到不错的论点
往往自己上场时却会乱了阵脚
拜五到我咯

上课回来就很亢奋 不懂做么
晚餐时说个不停 有吓到人
回来后很兴奋地搞定PA的东东
尽一点点Event Maincomm的责任
想想
搞不好是身旁的人 把我的负元素吸去了
哇 如果真的话 请把我现在的正元素也吸去平衡

刚刚泻了两个回合 吃错了什么?
早餐:班兰面包 花生酱 美禄
午餐:Can14 菜饭 鸡肉+番茄蛋+乌龟豆
下午:Can B 马来糕点 + Teh
晚餐:Can 14 干炒河 (老板娘是酱叫的)+ 西瓜
之前:Lexus巧克力营养强化饼

今日名言: 烦不代表烦恼就会解决 自找麻烦做么?

不早了 睡觉去
预料最迟拜五会有照片登场

Monday, 28 January 2008

Special Sunday

Just broke the record of latest staying awake time of 2008. 3:25am.
Was doing Lit Review for super boring research methods
was browsing blogs
was replying some emails
was planning my Week4
was walking back from can2
was on the bus with the rest, singing (keke)
was on the stage
was in NYH - counting and positioning
was wondering. what went wrong?
and what should have been done?

tomorrow is the double dose ACS day
Double jackie plus Survival and Stochastics
8 hours of lesson with 2 hours break in between
meeting people for meetings
meeting myself for planning
and i havent touched my tutorials [since week1]
*proud*
I will catch up by end of this week
no matter what

but cny celebration live 08 is waiting for me in the weekend
but korean cultural fest 08 is waiting for me in the other end
but weekly prac is always with me every friday
but impromtu presentation is waving to me already

'oh la-la'. how i miss this phrase.
k. call me siao if you want to.
i am going to wake up 3.5hours later
to try and touch my tutorials

desperately need some photos for my posts
but dont have.
i am hungry.

edited [30Jan]: failed to wake up at 7am. 0rz .but was highly energetic throughout the 8hours of lesson on Mon ^^

Sunday, 27 January 2008

BBQ 바베큐


Had a small BBQ session with the new Korean exchange students on sat
Didnt take any quality photo to go with the above
The number of koreans that night was actually more than the non-koreans
Got to know some of them that evening
Si Eun, Chong Mun, Ian, Hyong Eun, Song I
Dont know why i just have this sense of familiarity with the Koreans

제 이름은 임위건입니다
만나서 반갑습니다
(that's almost all that i can rmb -..-")
안녕!

Thursday, 24 January 2008

MCQ Test Paper 1

Instructions:
1. This paper contains ONE(1) question.
2. Answer ALL questions.
3. The number of marks allocation is unknown.
4. Stake at risk: 10weeks PA life and most probably your future.

Please do not turn over until you are told to do so. | Next page

Question - Choose TWO(2) companies to spend your last 10-week summer vacation in the history of your life and wait plus see if they want you :D
a)Actuarial Valuation
b)Credit Risk Management
c)HOLT
d)Information Technology
e)Risk Measurement & Management (RMM)
f)Research work
g)Support services to QED
h)Claims liability estimation,valuation, portfolio performance and monitoring
i)Tactical Sourcing Works
j)Overseas attachment in Suzhou, China

Well not sure if i'm not supposed to disclose the choices that we have. It is sort of like a gambling game for me. Choose two and see if you can get one and you wont have another chance to resit Paper1.

Monday, 21 January 2008

Heaven and Earth - Are those too far apart


taken on the way to ECP for Harmoc Camp post-event celebration together with Charity Drive and AMCISA member outing committee 12-Jan


taken while was in immigration queue earlier today. Mei did the anyaman for the shoes :D 20-Jan

These two photos kinda have similar colour tones and temperature.

Back home for 39hours. Recharged! and lets see how long it takes to drain out the batt in me.

Barometer reading of this sem is rather high.
AB213 Research Methods - boring subject plus boring lecturer-cum-tutor. jialat
AB214 Communication Management Strategies - need to pay 100% attn or else i will lose catch of tutor's aussie accent
BA216 Survival Modelling - Jackie number 1. interesting sub, dealing with life and dead. and of course probability
BA217 Stochastic Modelling - Jackie number 1.5 abstract like dog. nv tried a single tut question for 2weeks already. jialat
BA219 Principles of Risk and Insurance - because of this [partly], i didnt take any IT sub this sem. Kinda interesting too. Last lesson of the week.

Chinese New Year Carnival 'Live' 08 4Feb - Logistics
Korean Cultural Festival 2008 21,22Feb - Logistics
Harmonica weekly prac
Harmonica Concert Vivace IX in Aug, prac in June,July
Professional Attachment registration, application, interview, proper. Jan - July

Stay positive. This is what i can do right now. and trying to dig out stuff that can let me looking forward to. to keep my spirit there.
- steamboat with wenbude and kenzo
- steamboat with day3er
- cny holidays !

Bah. back to survival and stochastic. martingale. optional stopping theorem. i dont un.
-..-"

Saturday, 5 January 2008

Forklift


没有字的帖子很不像样 所以对不起啦照片
又是一篇用华文打的 搞不好这里要变成纯华语了
不行不行 好吧 下一篇 非华语 [希望不会等太久]
一年下来 华文帖子越来越多 惊觉自己的华文表达能力
相对于其他语言 要加强了许多 够力 小不健康

电脑键盘那天 不小心打翻凉茶弄湿了自己
短路了一下下 幸好现在还活着
我的电脑真命苦 跳楼了好几次 泼水节过了数次
还大难不死 被我塞了一大堆东西
每年还定时大扫除reformat一次 哇噻 辛苦了
感觉现在 90op[]\l;',./ 这几个被溅到凉茶的按键
有点怪怪 够力多一次

讲完了

Thursday, 3 January 2008

2007恶灵凌欺

<猪蛋>。大学学期制度让现在一月初的我竟然一点年头的感觉都没有。还是因为新的一年完全没有让我有一点期待?真的很猪蛋。短短的十二月假期反而像年中假。要开学了,也该整理整理心情,重新出发了…

来吧… 说一说恐怖的恶灵凌欺年。说到这里,想了想去年从年头到年尾的一切一切,身体不自觉地抖了一下,心有余悸。心脏喊了一下,但还是得写完它,记录生命中最黑暗的一年。以前历史课里叫做Zaman Jahiliyah。虽然说曙光来临前天空是最黑暗的,但是这所谓的最黑暗之前,也会给你一个小光芒假假骗你一下。07上半年,我就很<竹十人>的被骗了。

一月份,大学的第二学期。第二这个号码对我来说很神奇。我开始认为自己转运了。第一学期的种种不适完全遭到逆转。哇哈哈。我仰天长啸我悠闲自在。修了差点出人命的22个主科学分,可是却感觉到前所未有的轻松。压力不懂跑哪里去了。好多课都假假没有去上,功课没有做,小考乱乱来,但是就觉得很爽,拥有着所谓的<快乐>。

恐怖,我接下了很多活动,堪称是有史以来最惊为天人活跃的奈九米尔。忙得很爽。功课project活动什么的,感觉很对、很充实、一个接一个没有clash. 你看我这里就知道了,上半年更新的速度简直是神速。<噼里啪啦>一大堆有的没的。现在读回去都还感觉到凉掉的温度。巅峰期可说是考试前不懂有没有效率的group study,一群人就酱紫霸着一间课室、打包食物、不回房间、看电影打游戏吃吃喝喝拉拉睡睡地一起挨过了煎熬的温书周。 就酱紫,时间排到了考试、考试后的假期、07年上半年结束。

五月份的假期。好不充实、忙碌。考完试家都不回[好像回了几天]就开始修假期法语课2.0,当中还去了几趟东海岸,到现在自己还不是很确定到东海岸的巴士号码 -..-。商科系分马路,如愿分到了<精算>,突然觉得很茫然,不懂后来的自己要怎样精算自己的道路。后来华人文化研习营、准备大马学生迎新营、鬼走路、口琴演奏会,不知不觉大一就酱过去了。等待开学前的感觉蛮复杂的。但是始终不懂黑暗要开始笼罩了。哦买天。天真到爆。

开学。大二开始。起初还很兴致勃勃,因为延续了之前的癫疯,但是渐渐感觉得到黑暗的前兆,心里莫名的恐惧。迎新周、演奏会、西西A展,好不热闹。抢修学分,自己开始了精算+资讯科技+法语3.0的大二。接下来,恐怖的决定确定了哀怨的笼罩、自以为可胜任的却让自己<彷徨>无主。每一周都过得艰辛、每一餐都食之无味、每一天的自己都在浪费生命。好恐怖。

本来就不很说话的自己开始重拾以前的自闭。慢慢的,好多朋友都失去了联络,多了很多建立在利益关系、工作烦恼的友谊,不喜欢。这个学期,好多时间都仿佛是一个人在过,有意没意的推掉社交活动,意志消沉的自己找借口说在寻找不见掉的心。的确,心和快乐都消失了。上半年所谓的充实和快乐跑掉了,剩下的让自己喘不过气、狼狈。自信跌落谷底、压力高居不下、自暴自弃、痛恨没用的自己。还搞到自己假期周末不敢回家,不敢让家人看到不在状态的自己。好黑。

感觉自己变笨了、笨到无药可救、笨到以前的我在笑自己。恐怖的大二第一学期,硬生生地吞噬掉我的生命,还残留下了所谓的黑暗,阴影挥之不去。开始糟蹋自己的健康,拼命高利租借以后的时间来用。好多个晚上的失眠,一夜间感觉自己坏掉了几十年,是个忘记自己最后一次放心开心地睡着的年代,对,是年代。07年后半段对我来说,很漫长很难熬。开始想很多,如果你问我时间花在哪里,我说是在想太多。是在和自己讲话,感觉疯了似的。这里,我又抖了一下。好暗。

压力底线在考试前很多project期限将至时彻底瓦解、崩溃了。但是意识中强迫自己继续跑下去,强颜欢笑的感觉我很讨厌。但是,没有选择。生命照跑,只是看自己可以坚持到什么时候而已。选择逃避,考试期间的没有心温书,完全的不想见人,到后来的漫画动画,感觉像是放弃了。好颓废。黑暗期的自己,像大便。让你看到了大便,很对不起。

如果你要我选一张照片来代表2007年,我怕放了你会反胃、你会掉头走掉、你会晚上做恶梦、你会像我一样疯掉。所以这帖没有图像、没有照片。其实要说的,还有很多很多。心里想过的,更多。现在的自己还真的不确定是否已恢复正常。好恐怖好彷徨好无助好失落。但继续写下去恐怕自己会再度疯掉。

说真的,2007年我真的没有很快乐。2008年我要期待些什么?
猪蛋糕。
还是要祝你们 新年快乐 (:

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